


Model Behavior

by RiddleBlack



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Eating Disorders, Freeform, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 07:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2182971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiddleBlack/pseuds/RiddleBlack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak is still getting over his break-up with long time girlfriend, Meg Masters, and he figures that maybe a one night stand turned casual boyfriend would be a nice way to move on. But what happens when something unexpected makes Castiel expecting?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was initially for the SPN Mpreg Big Bang, but due to my own idiocy, this is being submitted as my own fic. I hope it doesn't suck. :)

Castiel looked about the room, taking the occasional drink from his water bottle. He watched the others chat excitedly with one another, much to the annoyance of their make-up artists or hairdressers. That's often why Castiel got one of the better ones - He didn't try to talk while someone was putting something on his face. He glanced over at the clock on the wall, sighing a bit to himself. Taking his sweet time ag-

"Cassie!"

Castiel looked up to see Balthazar, his usual dresser, enter the room, one of his many assistances dragging his case for him.

"Late as usual?" Castiel greeted coolly, turning in his chair to face Balthazar. The blond man smirked before reaching down and pinching his cheek. He earned a grunt from the model.

"Cheeky as usual?" He retorted before releasing his cheek and turning him in his chair so that they were both looking into the mirror. "Hmmm... what're you wearing?"

"You didn't look at it before coming in?" Castiel questioned, shooting him a look as Balthazar chuckled.

"You know I'm joking. In all of the years I've known you, you still haven't managed to get that stick out of your ass." He moved to start styling Castiel's hair, opening up his enormous, metal case, "This is that friend of yours work, yes? Julie?"

"Jessica," Castiel corrected, watching as Balthazar tugged at and teased his hair, "And yes, they're her designs. Her boyfriend helps put them together in his free time."

Balthazar nodded. "Now, is he a boyfriend or a," He paused, using his fingers to make quotation marks, " _boyfriend_?"

"They are actually dating," Castiel stated, "Neither of them are secretly gay, so there is nothing for you to gossip about."

"Damn," Balthazar replied sarcastically, "Oh well. Maybe if you got over Meg, I co-"

"No."

"I was just suggesting-"

"And I am just turning it down. No." Balthazar frowned, but chose not to add anything else.

Castiel pursed his lips and stared down into his lap, fidgeting uncomfortably. He knew he should move on, but he couldn't help but be hesitant. He and Meg had been together for years until she announced that she wanted to do more interesting things with her life.

_"We've been together since college, Clarence. I haven't had sex or been with anyone other than you in six years. I want to do something for me and not have to worry about anyone else. Hell, you're a great guy but... reliable. Predictable. When is the last time you've done something ridiculous for yourself and not worried about it hurting anyone?"_

It had been a few months since then and all of her things had been moved out of their... well, now _Castiel's_ , apartment and 'Meg Masters' had been taken off of the lease. Castiel had fallen into a 'wallow' of sorts. He forced himself into his work; he upped his workout routine (Much to the pleasure of his personal trainer, Gabriel), he sent his work to as many companies as he could, and he offered to be the mannequin, so to speak, for Jessica's work. Everything seemed fine until Gabriel noticed that the model's weight was dropping at a drastic pace and Sam noted that the clothes that had been custom fit to him weeks ago would suddenly hang on him. The group staged an intervention of sorts, forcing him to start taking breaks and eating more and the like. He had been better as of late, but it didn't mean that bringing up Meg still didn't sting a bit.

"Finished!"  Balthazar smirked, resting his hands on his hips. Castiel looked up in surprise, realizing he had been off in his own thoughts long enough for Balthazar to finish making him up.

"Great as always," Castiel agreed simply, turning his head to look himself over, "Thank you."

"I know," The taller man assured, "And you're welcome. And Castiel, just so you are aware, my suggestion for you to start dating again, I really didn't mean any harm by it. I just wanted you to-"

Castiel sighed as he carefully got out of his chair. "I know what you meant, Balthazar. It's kind of you to suggest it, but I'm really not looking for anyone."

Balthazar smiled a bit, though it looked rather empty. "You know what some say; the second stop looking is the second you find someone."

* * *

 

"Aww, Cas, you look awesome!" Jessica grinned as Castiel entered. He was one of the last few to enter (thanks to Balthazar's late entrance), but at least that meant he could talk to Sam a bit more as he put the finishing touches on his attire.

"Thank you, Jessica." Castiel murmured, following as she guided him past others  to get to where Sam and others were helped get some of the models dressed.

"I still say you should call me Jess." She chided good-naturedly. Castiel gave her a hint of a smile.

"And I still insist on calling you Jessica. It's a useless process to argue about." He reminded as he was deposited with Sam. The man was finishing off the pining of another person's skirt.

"Hey Cas," He greeted after he sent the model towards the back stage area, "Looking... good?"

Castiel shook his head pleasantly before grabbing his attire off of the rack with his name on it. "You don't need to force it, Sam." Castiel assured, tugging on his pants and buttoning up his shirt.

Sam shrugged and gave Castiel one of his usual puppy dog smiles. "Yeah, well... you do. Just a nice thing to say."

Castiel nodded and sat down to pull on his shoes, not wanting to press in the backs. "I suppose. But I don't need to be pacified with compliments." When he didn't receive a response, Castiel glanced up to see Sam shifted awkwardly from foot to foot.

"Sam, I was joking."

Sam looked up in surprise. "Oh. Oh, crap, Cas... You're good." He chuckled as he shook his head, handing the dark haired man his jacket. "Oh yeah, by the way," Sam added as Castiel adjusted his attire, "My brother is having dinner with Jess and I tomorrow night. I've told you about him before, right?"

Castiel nodded, trying to refrain from frowning. Based on the stories Sam had shared about the man, Castiel had a divided opinion of him being a prince ("Yeah, he basically raised me since our mom died and our dad moved us all over the place and wasn't around a lot.") and an asshole ("He keeps fucking calling me whenever he's drunk! At this point, I think he fixed his tap to just pour whiskey..."), leaving him with no choice but to remain neutral.

"Yeah, so... I was wondering if-"

"If I could give you some dinner recommendations?" Castiel asked, shoving his hands into the pocket of his jacket.

"No, I-" Sam paused, shaking his head again, "I was wondering if you wanted to come along." He asked, giving Castiel a sheepish smile. The shorter man blinked in surprise.

"You're... asking me to join you? Why?" He asked bluntly.

"Well, uh... I figured it'd be nice to have a friend there." He shrugged.

Castiel stared up at him for a moment before finally nodding. "Okay, I will go," He agreed, giving Sam a hint of a smile in response to his excited grin, "When?"

"Tomorrow night a-" Sam looked up as he heard applause sound from the stage area, "I'll text you. You may want to go line up." Castiel nodded and headed up behind the curtain, ready to head out when instructed.


	2. Chapter 2

"How much foundation did he use?" Castiel muttered to himself as he scrubbed hastily at his cheeks with a make-up removal pad. While Balthazar was certainly the master of hiding blemishes and imperfections, he really didn't make it easy to remove what hid them. Castiel was often the last one to leave because he was so busy removing his make-up. He would do it at home, but he usually just wanted to go to bed by the time he got there and he learned from a previous occurrence that going to bed with make-up on was never a good idea.

After several more minutes of vigorous scrubbing, his face managed to appear make-up free (And probably missing a few layers of skin at that point). He stood and grabbed his bag as he flicked off his desk's lights, heading for the exit. He turned off various lights as he left, stopping only to note that Jessica's make-shift office's light was still on. He was about to poke his head in to say good night when he heard an audible moan and breathy giggle sound from behind the door. He immediately backed away and made a swift U-turn out the side door. He hoped that they hadn't heard or seen him, not wanting to ruin the mood or have to deal with the inevitable awkward conversation later.

As Castiel walked along the sidewalk towards the nearest bus stop, he considered Balthazar's earlier statement. Maybe he should consider 'putting himself out there', as it was called. He hadn't been on a date since Meg and hadn't had sex since before they had broken up. He sighed, plopping down on to one of the benches at the stop, lost in his thoughts.

"Hey. Rough day?"

Castiel looked up in surprise, not having realized that he had sat down next to someone. He blinked to focus his gaze, the streetlight making it easier to see the man. He leaned back lazily on the bench, one arm draped over the back. He had sandy-brown hair and rather vibrant green eyes. Freckles dusted heavily on his tanned face and he wore what looked to be a polite smirk, as if he could tell that Castiel was looking him over. He couldn't deny that the light-haired man was attractive, but Castiel got the feeling that the man knew that for himself.

"I'm sorry?" Castiel asked, looking the man in the eye. The smirk twitched upward a bit more.

"I just said 'Hey. Rough day?'," He repeated, shifting his position so that he was sitting upright, "You came over with this scowl and sighing all over the place, so I just ventured a guess."

Castiel paused in thought, unsure of how to react. He was generally alone when he came to the bus stop, so conversations weren't common. Even if they were, his people skills were rather rusty, leaving him hesitant as to how he should reply.

"Um... somewhat, yes," He replied, seeing no harm in his answer, "Just... thoughts on... past relationships."

"Ah," He made a noise of acknowledgement, as if indicating that he understood, "I know the feeling well." He joked. He scooted a little closer to Castiel, though not enough to cause him to move away.

"So what? Got dumped?"

"A while ago, yes..." Castiel admitted. Why was he telling the man all of this? He glanced back up at him, gaze immediately going towards his rather impressive eyes. However, he didn't notice that said eyes were staring right into his. "I'm just... contemplating the idea of returning to..."

"Dating? Sex?"

"Well..." Castiel paused, considering the question. Was he ready for a relationship yet? Did he want to wait more? He had never had sex outside of a relationship before, he wasn't sure if-

_When is the last time you've done something ridiculous for yourself and not worried about it hurting anyone?_

Meg's words came rushing back to him as he contemplated his answer. She was right. He couldn't remember the last time he had done something rash and exciting and...

His eyes flicked back up to the attractive stranger.

What if this was a chance to do that?

"Um... well, sex," He finally answered, "I'm figuring out if I should try getting back into the sexual scene, I suppose."

The man chuckled. Not at Castiel, more just a light-hearted laugh at his choice of words. "The sex scene, huh?"

"Yes," He stated affirmatively, unable to resist looking him up and down, "Just... sex."

The man smiled, looking up Castiel's legs to his face. After a moment, he reached his hand out to him. "My name's Dean."

Castiel took it and shook politely. "Castiel."

"Castiel, huh?" He asked, the smirk that had rested on his face slowly slipping away and being replaced with a soft smile, "That's a fancy mouthful. Mind if I call you Cas?"

Castiel shook his head.

The ma- _Dean_ nodded and dropped his hand into his lap. "Well, Cas. If this is what I think it is, I'm afraid we're going to have to hit your house because I live a couple hours from here. I'm just visiting my brother and I don't think he'll be too cool with bringing someone back to his sofa."

A soft huff of laughter escaped Castiel. "We can go to my place. It's only fifteen minutes from here once the bus arrives."

Dean nodded and returning to his earlier position and crossed his leg over his knee.

"Um... Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Just to be clear... I have money."

Dean gave the man a confused look before he let out a loud laugh. Castiel stared at him in bewilderment as his laughter continued. The man finally wiped his eyes as he turned to look at Castiel.

"Shit, Cas, no..." He chuckled, "I'm not a hooker."

"You're not? But the se-"

Dean shook his head. "Man, people have casual sex all of the time. Doesn't mean one or both of them are hookers. Relax. It's just a fling, alright? No strings attached."

Castiel contemplated this, nodding thoughtfully. No strings attached. That sounded exactly like something he needed. He and Dean looked up when the bus pulled up to the stop. They both climbed on in silence, dropping their money in the box before taking seats. Castiel chanced a look over at Dean, the man having sat next to him. What are you supposed to say to the man you're going to bring home to have sex with? Dean seemed to sense his discomfort and draped an arm over his shoulder.

"Hey, man, relax. Okay?" He assured softly, making sure the bus driver or other passengers couldn't hear, "I get that your probably haven't done this before, but it really isn't a big deal. It's just some sex to ease you back into... what did you call it?"

"The sexual and dating scene."

Dean appeared to hold back another laugh. "Yeah, uh... the 'scene'. So, just lighten up, okay?"

Castiel swallowed nervously, but nodded. "Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel awoke the next morning to a pain in his back and light pouring in from his partially opened blinds. He blinked his eyes open, rolling over to squint at the clock on his bedside table. Just past ten.

He sighed and pushed himself into a sitting position, frowning at the state of his bedroom. His clothes from the night before were tossed all over the floor, along with most of the bed covers and sheets and what sheets remained on the bed was sweaty and sticky. Castiel sighed as he carefully got up (not wanting to further irritate the pain in his backside) and pulled on a pair of boxers. He moved about to pick up the sheets and clothes, ready to run a load of laundry. He was so absorbed in his task that he almost didn't notice the feeling of a sheet of paper under his feet as he walked out of his room. Once he deposited his laundry in front of the washing machine, he went back to his room to see what he had stepped on.

Sitting in front of his bedroom door was a piece of printer paper. The model picked it up and read it over.

_Thanks for last night. I let myself out. -Dean_

Castiel smiled a bit before crumpling up the paper and tossing it into a waste bin. He appreciated the sentiment, even if he would never see the man again. He went about his business: doing laundry, tidying up a bit, making breakfast. As he was just finishing up the dishing, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Cas, what's shaking?"

Castiel sighed, wishing he had read the caller ID before blindly picking up his phone. "Hello Gabriel. I'm fine, how are you?"

"I'm great, just picked up another client. Aaaaand because of that, I was going to ask if you would be okay with pushing our session until tomorrow?"

Castiel rolled his eyes. Gabriel was constantly picking up more clients than he could handle so he could make some extra money, even if it meant pissing off his current clients by rearranging sessions. But this time, he actually wouldn't fight him on it.

"That's actually better. Yes, we can move it. I'm not feeling... into it today." Castiel replied, wincing when he let his backside rest against the counter.

"Really?" Castiel could hear the relief in Gabriel's voice at not being chewed out for the date change, "Awesome, that's... wait, not into it? Usually you let me have it for moving our sessions, what's wrong?"

The model groaned internally, know that his trainer didn't have the self-control to leave well enough alone. "It's nothing. Something personal just came up and I'm not feeling well."

"Personal? Cas, don't tell me you're starting a-"

"No, no, nothing like that," He sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple, "I had someone over last night."

"Someone over or _Someone over_?" Gabriel changed his voice to be as suggestive as he could muster at the second statement. Castiel ignored the heat rising to his cheeks.

"The... second one." He muttered, squeezing his eyes just at the whistle and cheer on the other end of the line.

"Ooooh, Cassie got some ass last night... or did he get it in the ass? Guy or girl?"

"Gabriel..." He said started warningly.

"Alright, alright, my bad. You totally got it in the ass if you're tired enough not to work out today."

"I can still cancel our session and don't you get paid by each one?" Castiel asked and was pleased to hear Gabriel let out a bit of a strangled sigh.

"Okay, okay, I get it, I'll get off of your case." Gabriel muttered, "But really, Cas, I'm glad. You're moving on from that Meg chick."

"I would hardly call a one night stand moving on..."

"Well, it's something," He pointed out, "Anyway, just take it as it is and be proud. You took a step or whatever! Anyway, I've got to go. See you tomorrow at three?"

Castiel agreed and said good-bye before hanging out. He sighed, staring at the wall as he thought about what Gabriel said. Was he really moving on? He hadn't really been in a long term relationship aside from Meg and he wasn't sure if he was quite set on starting one yet. But the previous night with Dean had been enjoyable and maybe that was the boost he needed to 'get back out there', as Balthazar had said.

He shook her head, trying to clear his thoughts. He'd get back to that later. For now, he had laundry to do and calls to make before getting ready for dinner with Sam. Maybe he and Jess would even be proud of his step forward, though no way would be bring it up around Sam's brother.

* * *

 

Castiel fidgeted awkwardly in his seat, tugging absently at the sleeves of his jacket. He was plenty used to fancy resturants, as his job often involved meetings and discussions in such locations, but rarely did he show up alone and very rarely was he the first to arrive. When he had given the hostess Jessica's name, she immediately brought him to a large table in the back, stating that he was a bit early and was free to wait there until the rest of the party had arrived. He barely managed a nod before she disappeared back to the front and he was once again that day left alone with his thoughts.

He decided to turn his mind towards Sam's brother. He had been mentioned in a variety of Sam's childhood stories and he was usually either the butt of the joke or the caring savior of Sam's mistakes. While Castiel was worried that the brother would think one of them was intruding, he chose to focus on the fact that Sam and Jessica considered him to be enough of a friend to join them for dinner with... what was his name? Sam had said it before. Derek? Damian?

"Cas?"

Castiel looked up and blinked in surprise at the sight before him.

"Dean?"

No, no. There was no way-

"Hey, Cas!" Both men whipped around to see Sam coming over with Jessica at his arm, grinning excitedly.

"Sam..." Castiel rasped, throat suddenly feeling dry as the couple moved to sit at the table with him. Dean hesitantly sat down as well, eyes immediately flicking back to Castiel.

"Sorry we're late," Jessica sighed, "But Sam and Dean started arguing over who's car we would take." She rolled her eyes and gave Castiel a look that silently said 'Oh these boys, what're you going to do?'.

"Anyway, Cas, this is Dean!" Sam grinned vaguely gesturing to his brother. Castiel swallowed and nodded, turning back to Dean.

"We've met."

Castiel shot Dean a glare to indicate for him to _shut up_. Sam looked between the two men in confusion.

"You know each other?" He inquired. Castiel blushed and stared into his lap while Dean made a point to look away. "How do you-"

Jessica coughed and looked to Sam with a suggestive expression. The taller man squinted in thought before his eyes widened and he gaped at his brother.

"Wait... you- Cas, he- and- oh my God, Dean, are you serious!?" He groaned and ran a hand tiredly over his face. Castiel glanced up just in time to see Dean roll his eyes.

"Oh come on, it's not like I knew he was your friend! I just thought he'd be a nice lay."

"Thank you." Castiel snapped bitterly. Dean turned to Castiel, face apologetic.

"Look, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant... well, shit... you said you didn't want anything serious!" He rambled.

"Well, I didn't."

"And now you do?" He asked. Castiel couldn't quite read his tone or expression.

"Well... not necessarily, no. I just meant... well..." Castiel fidgeted absently with his napkin.

"You're looking for something casual?" He asked, leaning forward a bit in his chair.

"Perhaps."

"I can do casual."

Castiel looked back up at Dean in surprise. The man lost all sense of smooth confidence he had seen last night and it was all replaced with nervous squirming and mumbles.

"You... wait, you actually want to start a relationship with me?" Castiel asked cautiously.

"Well... yeah," Dean shrugged, "You seem really cool and, like you had said, I'm not really looking for anything serious either, so I figured this is a win-win."

The two stared at each other for a moment before Castiel nodded cautiously.

"Okay... okay, I would like to do that, Dean."

The two gazed at each other for a instant before Sam coughed audibly. The two turned back to Sam and Jessica as if they just realized that they had been there for the whole exchange.

"Oh, I... I'm sorry." Castiel said, at least having the decency to look embarrassed. Dean smirked at his brother.

"Hey, Sammy. I guess you finally got me to go out on a double date with you guys."


	4. Chapter 4

_Two months later_

Castiel groaned as he pressed his face against the cool tile of his bathroom wall. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to even think about what he had just done. He blindly grabbed around for the handle before flushing the toilet, letting his hand dropping by his side once he had succeeded.

He had no idea why he felt so bad. Maybe it was that Mexican place Dean had taken him to last week. But he had only gotten something small and he had been sick for a lot longer than a week...

Castiel shook his head and forced himself to stand up. He went over to the sink and splashed cold water into his face, hoping to rid himself of the unclean feeling that came with vomiting. He stared back at his reflection, moaning tiredly at what he saw.

His hair was messy (well, messier than usual) and overgrown. He was extremely unshaven and much paler than he usually was. The dark circles under his eyes made him look like he had gone several rounds in the ring and lost. To put it simply, he looked like shit.

He stalked away from the mirror and out of the bathroom, heading for his phone. He clumsily dialed Gabriel's number. No way was he working out like this.

He was about to hang up when a breathless voice called through. "Yeah?"

"Gabriel, it's me."

"Hey, me. What's up?"

Castiel frowned, already getting irritated with Gabriel's sarcasm. "It's Castiel."

"Oh, it's Cas? Shit, I was already to talk to me. I am a rather fabulous pers-"

"Gabriel, I'm canceling this afternoon's work-out."

Castiel could practically feel Gabriel's concerned look through the receiver. "Again? Cas, this is the third time you've canceled in the past two weeks. Are you still sick?"

He wanted to lie. But what was a more plausible reason for him to be canceling so many times? "Yes, I am. It hasn't let up at all."

"Just a lot of vomiting? Anything else?" Gabriel questioned. Castiel raised an eyebrow at his curious tone.

"Uh... nothing more than that and some aches and pains... but those are just from work outs."

"Cas, we haven't had a work out in nearly three weeks. The aches can't be from me. Maybe they're from your boyfriend... oh God, what if it's an STD?"

Castiel rolled his eyes. "It isn't an STD. I had us both tested when we started dating..."

Gabriel scoffed. "Jesus, you're one of _those_ boyfriends."

"A _safe_ one, yes," Castiel retorted coolly, "Anyway, it isn't that. And no, the aches aren't from sex with Dean..." He tapped his finger anxiously at the countertop, "We haven't had sex since I started getting sick."

Gabriel whistled lowly. "Damn... so, just standard bug symptoms but it's stuck around? I don't know, Cassie. Maybe you should see a doctor or something. Could be serious."

It was Castiel's turn to scoff. "I constantly tell you to go to the doctor about your dietary habits, but you never listen to me. Why should I listen to you?"

"Because you care more about your health than I do!" Gabriel whined, "Plus, you could be really sick. Come on, I'll go with you if you want."

Castiel sighed, running a hand wearily through his hair. "No, thank you... I'll go on my own."

Gabriel sighed in relief on the other end. "Good. I was worried I'd have to drive you there myself. Let me know what they say, alright?"

"Yes, yes. Good-bye, Gabriel." Castiel hung up the phone and let himself stare dazedly at the wall. Could it be something more than a stomach bug? Could Dean have actually given him an STD? Castiel shook his head. No, no. The tests said that there were no STDs present. He would just go to the doctor and they would give him some antibiotics. He would get better and everything would be back to normal.

* * *

 

"I... I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?" Castiel stared at the doctor with an entirely blank expression, his mind unable to properly process the news he had just received.

When he finally willed up enough courage to call the doctor's office, he was told that the only open slot that they had available was for an hour from the time he called. Anxious to get well again, he agreed. However, when he finally arrived, he was surrounded by people that seemed to be in much worse shape than he was. So, he sat down in the waiting room with a crappy cup of coffee and waited... and waited... and waited. The time for his appointment came and went and just as he was about to get up to leave, his stomach decided to rebel once more. He raced over to the secretary's waste paper bin and promptly threw up what little coffee he had ingested. He was then immediately taken into a doctor's office with the promise that his doctor would be with him 'in just a minute'.

His doctor turned up a few minutes later with a smile wide enough that if Castiel didn't know any better, he would have assumed he worked in pediatrics. The man was lanky and lean with messy brown hair and a nose big enough to poke out an eye. He wore jeans and sneakers under his lab coat, along with the ugliest yellow sweater he had ever seen.

"Hey there," He greeted enthusiastically, plopping down into the spinning office chair, "I'm Doctor Fitzgerald. It's nice to meet you. What brings you here today..." He paused to look into his file, "Cas-teel."

"Castiel," The model corrected, squirming a bit and listening to the sound of the tissue paper crinkle under him on the table, "It's nothing of grave importance. I just have been feeling rather sick as of late and was hoping I could start taking something for it."

Doctor Fitzgerald ( _Garth_ , as his name tag proclaimed) nodded and moved next to Castiel to perform the standards tests - checking his breathing and blood pressure and the like. After some time, he looked down at Castiel.

"I'm going to go get a nurse. I figured we should get some blood work done."

Castiel nodded meekly and barely registered them taking the blood. A blood test... A blood test had to mean it was something serious, right? Right?

He nodded along as Garth explained that he would call Castiel to let him know of the test results and not to worry - that most, if not all, blood tests came back negative, that he was sure everything was okay, things like that. Castiel barely paid attention as he left the office and returned home.

The next two days were filled with anxiety as he waited for the call. While he managed to get some personal time in for himself and getting signed up by his agency for a film make-up class, he would still jump every time the phone rang. When he finally did get a call from the office, his heart dropped when the receptionist said that they wanted him to come in as soon as he could.

"Cas-teel Novak?" A nurse called, smiling a little too sweetly for Castiel's liking. He didn't even have the energy to correct her his name as he followed her back to the small room he had been in some days before. He fidgeted and squirmed nervously, playing with the sleeves of his coat before he flinched when he heard the door open.

"Hey, Castiel." Garth greeted cheerfully, sitting down at his chair, "How're you today?"

"I'm fine... except the nurse insisted that she couldn't give me the prognosis over the phone. Is something wrong? Am I more sick than I think I am?" Castiel leaned forward as he spoke, eyes wide with worry. Garth's smile didn't even twitch.

"Oh no, nothing is wrong, I promise." He assured, reaching over to pull a file from a stack on his desk. Castiel's eyes narrowed.

"Nothing wrong? Then why did she insist that I come in to be told what's wr- why I'm sick?"

Garth swiveled in his chair to face him. "Because I wanted to see the look on your face when I gave you the news!" He beamed as he flipped open the file in his hand, "Castiel Novak, you're pregnant."

Silence engulfed the room. Castiel stared at his doctor's unwavering grin.

"I... I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?"

"You're pregnant. A little over ten weeks along, to be more exact." Garth's smile lessened slightly. "Is this not good news?"

Castiel shook his head. "It's... news, certainly... just..." He shook his head again. _Pregnant._

Garth coughed in hopes of starting a change in subject. "Yeah, it is news. Anyway, uh..." He leafed through the papers. "A couple things; First off, you're pretty underweight considering your height and how far along you are so I suggest a dietary change-"

Castiel stopped listening after that, his mind going off on its own. _Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. How the hell did this happen!? He hadn't- oh... yes, he had. Dean, that first night. Oh God..._

Castiel glanced up when Garth shoved a handful of pamphlets under his nose. "I think you should read these and consider your options, once you decide what kind of 'news' this is." Garth offered him a more reserved smile. Castiel nodded and took the pamphlets before standing up.

"Is there anything else?"

Garth shook his head. "Not at the moment, no. Just be sure to e-mail me if you feel anything is wrong or out of the ordinary."

Castiel nodded again and slowly made his way out of the office.

"Oh, and Castiel?" Garth called, "Congratulations!"

* * *

 

Castiel considered it a miracle that he made it back to his apartment in one piece, considering how distracted he had been on his way home. The news was just starting to truly sink in and his nausea was worsening both due to worry and the child itself.

 _Child._ Castiel James Novak was with child. The man shook his head as he sat down on the sofa, running his hands over his face. He couldn't have a child! He could barely take care of himself, how the hell could be expected to take care of a child!?

His eyes flicked over to the stack of pamphlets Garth had given him. The one at the top of the stack read in big, bold letters 'Is Abortion Right for You?'. _Is it right for me?_ He questioned himself. _I wanted to be a parent when I was younger, what if I don't get another chance?_

He shook his head. _No, I can't do this now... what would I do? Maternity modeling? No, that's ridiculous. And I can't look for a different job, no one wants to hire someone that would need maternity so soon. Besides-_

He snapped out of his thoughts when his text alert went off. He picked up his phone and read the message.

Hey, on my way over. Need anything from the store? -DW

Castiel stared at the message for a minute before his eyes grew wide and he nearly dropped his phone. Dean. _Dean. Oh God, Dean._

How the hell would he tell Dean!? He didn't even know if he would keep the child yet, how could he yank him into the mix? Castiel ran a hand nervously through his hair, his mind going down several different decisions. If he told Dean and he wanted the child and Castiel decided he didn't, would he tell Dean and break them up? Would he grin and bear it and spend the rest of his life resentful of the child? Or if he told Dean and he didn't want it and he decided to keep the child, they would still break up... But what if he got an abortion and regretted it?

His head was spinning from the various scenarios and he was so deep in his thoughts that he almost didn't hear the sharp pounding at the door. He let out a nervous breath as he forced himself to calm down enough to stand and answer the door. Dean stood grinning on the other side.

"Hey! You never replied to my text, so I just got us the standard stuff." He stated as he headed into the apartment. Castiel swallowed thickly as he closed the door behind him and followed the older man into the kitchen. He watched in silence as Dean emptied the contents of the bag on the counter.

"Sorry I'm kind of late. Had to do a tune-up that turned into a huge deal." He shrugged, finally looking properly at the man. "Hey, are you okay? You seem kind of quiet."

Castiel opened his mouth to speak, only to find that no sound came out. He closed his mouth, trying to think of what to say.

_I'm pregnant with your child and I don't really know how to handle this and I don't know if having your input will make the situation better or worse. I'm scared beyond belief about my career and life, even though I kind of want this child and I'm afraid of what will happen to us if I tell you. I know we're supposed to be casual, but a baby is very far from casual and I want to take this further but not necessarily this far so soon._

He opened his mouth again. "I'm fine, just tired."

Dean nodded in understanding, tossing the bag away. "You still sick? You should really see a doctor about that."

Castiel nodded hastily. "I-I did. He said it was a bug that was going around and it should go away soon."

Dean looked relieved. "Good. You've been puking like crazy and you're already super skinny as is."

 _For now..._ Castiel thought bitterly as Dean wrapped an arm around his shoulder and kissed his cheek. "Come on and relax, Cas. Let's watch TV, I think Star Trek is on HBO."


	5. Chapter 5

_One month later_

"Damn it..." Castiel muttered to himself, staring down at the number that flashed back at him on the scale. The dreaded number indicated that the man had gained another pound, even though he was still underweight for his height and how far along he was.

Since he learned of his pregnancy, Castiel, though he didn't realize it, was slipping back into dangerous habits. She upped his work-out routine, he let his agency send him to nearly any time of show, even horror make-up contests (despite how much he detested doing such events), and he began to restrict his diet.

No matter how much the little voice in the back of his mind reminded him how harmful these things were, not just to him, but to the child as well, he couldn't bring himself to stop. If anything, the relapse of these habits were even more self-destructive this time than they were when he and Meg broke up. He was going farther than he had before and was putting both himself and the fetus at risk.

He got off of the scale and went back to his bedroom to change. He had a busy day. He was going to be used as a model for a movie make-up college class, which meant prosthetics, over the top styles and clothes, and being completely still for at least four hours. He went about getting changed, noting his phone going off as he pulled on the standard black tank top and shorts.

_You busy today? -DW_

Castiel cursed under his breath. Since learning of his pregnancy, Castiel had been basically avoiding Dean. He would spend time with him on occasion, but claim he had an early morning the next day, so they couldn't spend a long time together. He hated doing it, but he really wasn't sure what he was going to do and time was running out for him to even have a choice in what he would do.

_Yes. Long day. Model for college students. Maybe later. -CN_

The model sighed, turning his phone off and tossing it into his bag. He could talk to Dean later.

* * *

 

"Oh! Oh geez, wow, I'm so sorry!" The girl rambled, hastily wiping at Castiel's eye. The man pursed his lips, but didn't respond to the fact that this had been the third time she had poked him in the eye with a brush.

He had arrived with several others and was assigned to a fidgety, excited girl named Becky Rosen. She bounced excitedly when she saw him, her grin wide and slightly terrifying. Castiel was all but shoved into the chair and was told that he would be a biblical angel for her assignment. The girl went about chatting and babbling about the inspiration for her work, her boyfriend who ran the class, and several other topics that Castiel couldn't focus on or reply to. He couldn't center on anything. His stomach ached from nausea, which confused him as he hadn't eaten that day. His hands were clammy but he felt too hot at the same time, the florescent lights above causing him to sweat. He vaguely hoped that it wouldn't cause a problem for... Becca? He couldn't even remember. What was wrong today? He was about to ask if he could stand up and take a break for a moment when the instructor of the class announced that the students had an hour left before their works would be presented in the auditorium. His artist (Bella?) raced about to finish the make-up, finalized prosthetics, gluing down final pieces and even though Castiel was the one that would be graded on this, he still didn't feel well. His arms felt itchy and he was even warmer than before. His body on autopilot, he let her yank him out of the chair and guide him into his costume. Before he knew it, he was shoved out the door and guided into the back stage area of the auditorium. He vaguely registered being told that they would say her name and he would walk out in character, showing off the work.

"Character?" He asked, though it came out muffled and half spoken due to the prosthetics. His question wasn't answered as the make-up artists hurried out to the stage.

Castiel didn't know what to do. He just stood there as people slowly trickled out as their artist's name was called. He waited for his person's name and when he heard a vaguely 'B' like one, he went out, lucky enough to be right.

He remembered people staring, initially happy and slowly growing concerned. He remembered how bright and hot the stage lights were. He remembered how uncomfortable his arms were and how heavy the make-up was. He remembered stepping out and trying to move in a way that Becky had wanted but found that he couldn't. The last thing he recalled was being on the floor and someone yelling his name and something about an ambulance.


	6. Chapter 6

The first feeling Castiel registered upon awakening was that his arm itched. With his eyes still closed, he reached over to scratch his wrist, only to feel a larger hand grasp his own.

"Don't scratch. They put bandages and some medicine on it."

Castiel squinted his eyes open and slowly turned his head. Dean came into his view, his face tired and concerned.

"What... what happened?" Castiel asked, blinked his eyes to try and clear them, "I remember being hot... and uncomfortable... and a lot of noise."

Dean sighed, running a hand over his face. Castiel noted that he hadn't let go of his hand yet. "Shit, uh... Jessica called me since you put her as the emergency contact. She said that the doctors were going on about an allergic reaction to the make-up or something and..." He let out a slow breath.

"And what?" Castiel asked, his mind not quite registering the real issue.

"They said you were super underweight and dehydrated and that it was messing both you... and _the baby_ up."

Castiel's eyes widened, all of the pieces clicking together in his mind. "Dean, I-"

"What the hell, Cas?"

Castiel shifted to look at him properly. He could tell that Dean was trying to sound angry, trying to sound mad at him. But the words fell flat and sounded, more than anything, scared.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" He asked again, turning to look at Castiel, "They told me how far along you are. I did the math, I know it's mine..." He shook his head, his hand limp in Castiel's.

"Look, I... I know that I'd make a shitty dad and I know we haven't been together that long, but I still had a right to know, right?" He rasped, the question being more of a statement.

"Yes, you did..." He agreed softly, staring guiltily into his lap.

"Then why didn't you fucking tell me?" He asked, turning to look at the model, "Look at me, Cas! Why did you keep this from me for three months!?"

Castiel whipped his head around to look at Dean, trying to keep his expression neutral. "I found out about it last month."

Dean scoffed. "Yeah, because that makes it so much better. Answer the damn question."

"Because I didn't know what to do!" He finally snapped, yanking his hand away from Dean as his hands bawled into fists. "Dean, this wasn't a simple choice of 'I just won't tell him'. This is bigger than you think. This is a human life. I'm still deciding if I even want to keep it or not!"

"Well, based on how long you've been lying about it and not getting an abortion, I would say you want it." Dean retorted. "Or what, were you going to put it up for adoption and just pretend you weren't pregnant for the next five months?"

"I don't know!" Castiel shouted, tears prickling in his eyes, "I don't even know, alright? You're right. I don't want an abortion. And I don't know how I would feel knowing I gave up my own child. But that only leaves me with the option of keeping it and... and I don't think I can do that..." He let himself slouch and curl in on himself in hospital bed, sniffles and badly covered up sobs escaping him.

Dean swallowed thickly, unsure of what to say or do. "Cas, I... I know you probably hate me at this point, but... why couldn't you do that? It may not be so bad. Our own kid... that sounds like a good deal to me."

"You aren't the one carrying it, Dean," He hissed, glaring at the sheets, "You aren't the one that has to deal with all the symptoms. You won't have to face the prospect of possibly losing your job because of weight gain. You won't look disgusting after carrying a child for nine months. And you at least have experience with children after taking care of Sam. I know nothing, Dean! I can barely take care of myself, what do you expect me to do for a _baby_!?" By the time he finished, tears were streaming down his cheeks and he could barely breathe.

Dean stared at the man with extreme concern before gently wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Cas, I... I'm not going to lie to you, okay? I'm not going to do any sugar coating bullshit. You're right; I'm not the one that's knocked up and I'm not the one that's going to be dealing with all of those shitty symptoms. But you know what? I will be here to help you through them and make them easier. As for your job, there's maternity modeling, right? If not, I will help you find another one. You went to college for something, right?"

"Religious studies..." Castiel rasped.

"There you go, we'll find you a job for religious studies somewhere. Besides, even when you get bigger or deal with these symptoms, I'm sure you will still look as amazing as you always have, Cas." Dean assured softly, pressing a kiss into his hair. Castiel let himself lean a bit into Dean's hold.

"And about that whole thing with taking care of it..." Dean started, looking down at the model. "Cas, can you look at me for a sec?"

Castiel swallowed before hesitantly turning his head to look up at Dean properly. "What?"

"Cas, you may not believe me about this, but I do think you would make a good parent." Castiel squinted at him, disbelieving. "Now, hear me out, alright? Cas, you're super smart You'll probably look up all sorts of parenting technique mumbo-jumbo or some crap that'll be perfect for the kid. You're a lot more caring than you let on. You're super protective too. The second anything will happen to this kid, you'll be there for it. Cas, I really do think you'll be a good parent."

Castiel looked away again, fidgeting absently with his hands. "I... Dean, I..." He sucked in a breath, trying to once again compose himself. "Dean, I almost _killed_ it because of my own selfish actions. I let myself fall into bad habits and I can't seem to bring myself to stop..."

"Cas, you couldn't help it..." Dean assured, running a hand up and down his back comfortingly, "And now, I know about those issues. I can help you out if you 'fall into bad habits' again. You could see a therapist or something. You could get help. Jess said you did that before."

"And look where I am now."

Dean sighed, trying to look the dark haired man in the eye. "That's because you've been dealing with some serious shit, Cas. The first time was because of a big break-up, right? And now it's because of another big surprise. But this one can be good. We can make it good. If you're willing to have this kid with me, you know I will be there for it and you."

"And how do I know that?" Castiel finally asked, "How do I know you will stay? We've only been together for about three months, Dean, and we're suddenly having a baby together? You told me yourself that you were looking for something casual. I would say a baby is the farthest thing from casual."

Dean paused, unsure of what to say to that. "You don't know, okay? You don't know for sure if I'll stay. But you should take my word for it, Cas. I need you and I'm not about to lose you just because of this. Hell, this is all the more reason for me to stay."

Castiel stared at the man, considering his offer. "You aren't staying with me just because I'm pregnant?" He inquired.

Dean shook his head. "Cas, if it wasn't you, I may not even be here."

The two stared at each other for a minute before Castiel slowly nodded. "Okay. Okay... I would like to keep the child and continue this relationship."

Dean's face broke out into a grin as he pulled Castiel close. "This is going to be great, Cas. I promise."

Castiel hesitantly hugged him back. Maybe it would be...


	7. Epilogue

"Dean, have you seen my folders?"

"On the coffee table by the play pen."

Castiel sighed in relief as he appeared in the entrance of the kitchen, smiling a bit at the sight before him. Dean's face and shirt was covered in apricot baby food and their five month old daughter was just as, if not more, messy. She looked up to see Castiel and waved excitedly, her blonde curls bobbing about. Castiel's smile widened.

They had come rather far since the incident that had landed Castiel in the hospital. Dean had agreed to have Castiel move in with him to make things easier and to be closer. Instead of the pregnancy being awkward and forcing Castiel to pull away from him even more, Dean made sure that Castiel knew how important he was to him and that he wasn't going anywhere. Eventually, Castiel's comments about Dean being allowed to leave became less frequent (and eventually stopped altogether) and the two of them slowly began to make a home for themselves.

Castiel had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks to get his weight back up to where it needed to be and he had to continue to come in for therapy sessions to make sure such an incident didn't occur again. By the time he was in his last trimester, he no longer had to attend any sessions, but he made sure to keep the therapist's number on hand just in case.

Additionally, Castiel managed to land a few modeling jobs for male maternity attire, but he eventually decided to stop when he managed to find a teaching job for his degree in Dean's... well, _his_ new town. His employer insisted that the job would be waiting for him after he had the baby, which he was extremely grateful for. He was able to spend the last few months of his pregnancy relaxing with Dean and making sure he was properly prepared for being a parent.

Fast forward five months, and Castiel felt he was the happiest he had ever been. Their daughter was one of the most cheerful babies he had ever encountered. She rarely cried, insisting on making whiny noises and pouting instead, and she loved to laugh at nearly anything her parents did. Such a trait was exemplified before him as the girl giggled at her father's food covered face.

"She's conspiring against you," Dean stated, "She knows that this organic baby stuff is crap, right, Junebug?"

The girl squealed and reached for Castiel when he came over cooing contentedly when he kissed the top of her head. "She just likes knowing she can make a mess."

"Yeah, yeah." Dean rolled his eyes, but smiled as he grabbed a wipe and started cleaning the girl's face. "What time are you coming back?"

"Around seven. I'm meeting with Gabriel today. I'm sure he'll have yet another gift for June." He joked, grabbed his folders from the coffee table and shoving them into his bag. "I'm sure she'll be quite pleased about that."

June made an incoherent noise towards her other father, whining as Dean started to clean her hands.

"I'm sure she will," Dean agreed as he cleaned up his own face, "Sam and Jess are coming over for dinner tonight, remember?"

Castiel nodded, looking about to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. "Yes, you're making burgers right?"

"Yeah, I figured we could make your favorite." Dean  smirked up at him. Castiel looked down at Dean, smiling at the smirk that had drawn him in in the first place before he pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I love you."

"I know."

Castiel squinted at him with a fake doubtful expression before he kissed June's cheek, pleased to hear the girl laugh excitedly.

"I love you too, June. I will be home soon." He scooped her up before he stood upright, letting his little girls run her hands along his stubble as she often liked to do.

"Cas?" He looked over to Dean, the man having a small, proud smile on his lips.

"You look good."

He paused, considering the words before a similar grin broke across his face, feeling his daughter's hand press against his mouth.

"Dean, I... I think I finally am good."


End file.
